Somebody had to do it.
Sorted by date. If you want to search for a certain brand or flavour, ctrl+f that shit I'm not doing it for you.
Sorted by date. If you want to search for a certain brand or flavour, ctrl+f that shit I'm not doing it for you.
Sainsbury's Prawn Cocktail Crisps
21st August 2021
While this crisp tells much of the same story as its ready salted brother, I need to warn you about the flavour. You may be enjoying the packet at first, but like a frog being boiled alive, you dont notice at first how dangerous it has become until it is too late. I was pulling faces like an innocent 9 year old being bullied into trying Toxic Waste for the first time. The flavour borders on sour. You tearfully shovel the crisps into your mouth hoping that it will end. This is the crisp that could end the royal family - and look, its already taken out Prince Phillip.
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★☆☆☆☆
Sainsbury's Ready Salted Crisps
21st August 2021
A good, cheap alternative to expensive brands such as Walkers. Is capable of satisfying a craving for salt, but if it is crunch that you are looking for, do not bother with this shit. It is borderline cardboard. There is probably cardboard out there with a more satisfying crunch than this shit. The crunch is extremely light. Despite being a ready salted crisp, there is little to no grease factor.
Grease: ★★☆☆☆
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★☆☆☆☆
Pringles Sour Cream and Onion
20th August 2021
Fucking PERFECTION. IT DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!!!!! The flavour is immaculate. Ideal shape, delightful crunch, sensational taste, beautiful and addictive. AND MY GOD....THE SMELL. THE FUCKING PHEROMONES OF THIS CRISP. You can smell this shit from a mile away, and when you do, it will be the only thing on your mind until you are able to satiate the craving. It renders an individual borderline animalistic
Smell: ★★★★★
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Pringles BBQ
20th August 2021
Once again, pringles blesses us with the ideal shape, a delightful crunch, a sensational taste, a beautiful and addictive tube of bbq potato bastards.
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Pringles Original
20th August 2021
The perfect crisp. The ideal shape to put the whole crisp into one's mouth. Delightful crunch. Sensational taste. Beautiful, addictive, potato bastards. Only downside is that it can burn the edges of your mouth and erode your tastebuds after consuming what is probably far above the recommended serving. Although lets be real; recommended servings are horseshit.
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Pringles Sizzl'n Extra Hot Cheese & Chilli
20th August 2021
This is so fucked up
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Kettle Chips Vegan Sheese and Red Onion
14th August 2021
Fucking stink. There is a distinction to be made between this and a regular cheese flavour, but it is surprisingly good nonetheless. Highly reccommend if you like burning holes into your bank account
Smell: ★★★★★
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Kent Crisps Sea Salt
14th August 2021
From the so-called "Garden of England", Kent crisps sea salt leaves you wondering if instead they made this crisps in the Grease of England. Sea of Grease. The five stars is not necessarily a good thing here. If you like GREASE this is the crisp for you. The salt finally comes through towards the end of the packet, but at this point, the ambivalence and disappointment has already settled in.
Grease: ★★★★★
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★☆☆☆
Crunch: ★★★★★
Zizzi Pasta Crisps
13th August 2021
A pleasant on the house treat to be gifted while waiting for your starters and main courses. Suitable for all the vegan and gluten-free bitches so anyone can enjoy - though this does leave a different texture than what one might be used to. What i like about these crisps is that they don't bother to inform you of the flavour either and they're shaped like pasta.
Smell: can't recall
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
ASDA Ready Salted Crisps
6th August 2021
If you like SALT and getting SALT POISONING FROM THE OCEAN this is THE CRISP FOR YOU. GOD DAMN.
I do find this crisp breaks easily in the packet however, but this may have been poor luck on my end with the multipack.
Grease: ★★★★★
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★☆☆
Lorenz Curly Peanut Classic
24th July 2021
We're going international with this one. Don't be put off by what appears to be a peanut flavoured crisp in the shape of a wotsit because it is so much for than that. The crisp melts in your mouth and has a light salt flavouring to it also. Easy to devour an entire bag like an American in one sitting
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Tesco Bacon Rashers
19th July 2021
This is a crisp i have had in the past, but today finally comes it's time for a review. It has also been a while since my last experience of this crisp - as I usually don't tend to go for bacon flavours - so Ii decided to go in with the mindset of this being a brand new crisp to my tastebuds. Let's put it this way - if this was my first time trying this crisp, I would not bother again in the future. Tts possible this bag may have been slightly open, as the STALE FACTOR was through the roof. The flavour was lack luster, and shovelling as many into your mouth as possible does nothing to quench the thrist of CRISPY BACON. DISAPPOINTMENT. Allegedly 'baked for CRUNCH'. baked for DISAPPOINTMENT
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★☆☆☆
Crunch: minus stars ☆☆☆☆☆☆
Walkers French Fries Salt and Vinegar
18th July 2021
Almost the same review as it's ready salted counterpart. The flavour is nice, but the vinegar tends to becoming a little overbearing and sour towards the end of the packet. Especially when it comes time to lick the flavour off the tips of your fingers
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★★★
Walkers French Fries Ready Salted
18th July 2021
For one looking to appease a salt craving, this is the crisp for you. Delightfully salty throughout. Perfect crunch, doesnt distract from the flavour. the grease is not something you can taste, but it is something you feel on your fingers.
Grease: ★★☆☆☆
Smell: ☆☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Pom-Bear
12th July, 2021
Light and adequately salty. Common in ready salted crisps, there is definately a certain grease aftertaste - though with pom-bears this does not feel intrusive, or take away from satisfying a salt craving. Could have more of a crunch. for those who enjoy visual stimulation with their food, you will find dismembering the bears an added bonus
NEW RATING: THE GREASE FACTOR: ★★★☆☆
Smell: ☆☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Walkers Max Punchy Paprika Crisps
8th July 2021
It is no coincidence that a crisp that shares my NAME and HAIR COLOUR would be so perfect. Up there with walkers roast chicken and prawn cocktail. Visually, the crisps look radioactive and leads to no disappointment when it comes to flavour. despite this, there is no smell. Bigger than your average crisp just like how I am bigger than your average Bitch.
Smell: ☆☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
ASDA Ready Salted Potato Loops
8th July 2021
If you like the flavour of potato then this is the crisp for you. ASDA needs to consider removing the "ready salted" descriptor from the packaging as it should be considered misinformation and is extremely misleading. When you finish the packet after ramming loop after loop into your mouth trying to find this alleged salt, licking your fingers brings you no relief. There is nothing.
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★☆☆☆
Crunch: ★★★★★
Walkers Prawn Cocktail Flavour Crisps
29th June 2021
Solid flavour. Another one of Walker's masterpieces. Stinks all day, the scent is another finger hugger.
Smell: ★★★★☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★☆☆
Tesco Bunny Bites Slightly Salted
26th June 2021
Greasy, not enough salt, no smell, don't bother with this shit. The only plus is that it has the crunch that I wish pombears had. If your mother is putting this shite in your lunchbox I'm sorry you had your childhood ruined in this way, and to be frank you should be calling Childline/NSPCC/a therapist
Smell: ☆☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★☆☆☆☆
Crunch: ★★☆☆☆
Popworks Sweet & Salty Popped Crisps
21st June 2021
The first time you eat one of these it will fuck you up and challenge your senses. Your expectations will be crushed. You think: "ah this'll probably be like some Snack A Jacks type shit like a ricecake". It is difficult to describe the emotion you feel after your mouth is assaulted by the sensation of eating popcorn but in a triangle shape - you are experiencing shock, but this is quickly dissipated by the delicious taste of sweet and salty popcorn. One of those things you wish you could whipe your memory in order to experience again
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Seabrook Crisps Crinkle Cut Sea Salted
20th June 2021
Satisfies any salt craving. Does have a bit of a greasy taste. As with all ready salted crisps, there is not a lot of smell. SADLY
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★☆☆
Wheat Crunchies
13th June 2021
One of the very best. The motherfucking CRUNCH. More of a lingering smell rather than an immediate assault, the kind where you leave the room to piss or whatever and you come back and think "holy shit... those crisps really do stink"
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★★★★★★★★
Snaktastic's Cheese and Onion Flavour Crisps
29th April 2021
Great cheap alternative to well known brands such as walkers. Classic flavour is there although you often need to get quite far down the pack to actually satisfy the craving for cheese and onion. As it often is with this flavour, the smell and taste is not too offensive and wont linger on your breath or fingers for too long.
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★☆☆
The Real Mccoys Ridge Cut Hot Mexican Chilli
30th March 2021
Fuck yes
Smell: ★★★☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Walkers Roast Chicken Flavour Crisps
26th February 2021
The best of the best. Walker's masterpiece. Even the vegan bitches can snack on this deliciousness. Stinks up the room like no other and can last for up to an hour so I would highly reccommend if you want to assult other people's nostrils for a few hours
Smell: ★★★★★
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★☆☆
Specially Selected Spicy Sriracha Tortilla Chips
2nd February 2021
Not much to say, probably tasted nice, probably needed some dip but i didn't have any, can't really remember, because, I was high as fuck. Strange shape.
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Walkers Quavers Prawn Cocktail
17th January 2021
I seem to have missed out on this flavour before it was discontinued in 2011, but boy am I glad they decided to bring it back because it is perfect. Would go as far as to say it is better than the classic cheese flavour
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★★
Walkers Quavers Salt and Vinegar
17th January 2021
Quavers prawn cocktails mediocre little moid brother. Flavour is fine, but feels odd paired with the texture and taste that comes with the quaver form. Doesn't begin to hold a candle to the other two avaliable flavours.
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★☆☆☆
Crunch: ★★★★★
Sensations Lime & Coriander Chutney Poppadoms
2nd January 2021
Though the smell factor should only really be about 2 stars, it gets a 5 due to the fact it will stay under your fucking nails for at least a couple days and youll be catching whiffs every now and then. If you go to scratch your face, answer the phone, adjust your glasses, you'll be getting that whiff. Haven't tried picking my nose with this under my nails but I probably wouldn't advise it. Dread to think what it could do to one's genital area
Smell: ★★★★★
Taste: ★★★★☆
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Space Raiders Pickled Onion
21st December 2020
A classic. The only bag of crisps that havent fucked their shit up price AND packaging wise. Rising cost of living is no match for Space Raiders. My new diet. Taste is extreme. The kind of shit that would make the Queen open her third eye. The crunch? I cannot remember as I was too busy concentrating on making sure my taste buds survive consuming the packet. Shitty late 90s graphic design is immaculate.
Smell: ★★☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★★★
Crunch: ★★★★☆
Walkers Ready Salted Crisps
12th December 2020
Let's kick it off with a classic, shall we? Perfect bag to keep it simple. Isn't exactly the most exciting flavour in the world but is enough to satisfy a savoury craving. The perfect amount of grease. walkers' crisps lately seem to have an exceptional crunch about them
Smell: ★☆☆☆☆
Taste: ★★★☆☆
Crunch: ★★★★☆
PS if youre american and you would like to tell me about how you guys call Walkers "Lays" or how you dont use the term "crisps" you say "chips" even though we call "french fries" "chips" and go on about how its oh so confusing!!!!!! Pplease follow this link as I would LOVE to hear about it
ONE OFF REVIEWS
ASDA vs Tesco vs Sainsbury's - Jam Doughnuts
1st Place: Sainsbury's Doughnuts Jam Ball. 5pk, 95p
The best doughnuts you can get from a supermarket. Crispy texture like doughnuts at the seaside, jam tastes great, sugar dissolves beautifully. Somehow not an absolute fucking rinse unlike everything else in the shop. Easily the best out of the three.
2nd Place: ASDA Baker's Selection Jam Donuts. 5pk, £1.00
Literally just tastes like a stale day old Sainsbury's doughnut. Save yourself the 5p extra and go to Sainsbury's.
3rd Place: Tesco Jam Doughnuts. 4pk, 80p
When i removed one from the packet, there were puncture marks on the top (as opposed to the sides, as with sainbury's and asda) where the jam had been inserted, with some jam leaking out, leaving quite a mess. I went to lick it off but it was dried in place. Gross. The jam is has a STRONG taste. No crunch like sainsbury's, extremely soft. Nicely shaved off 20p by only having 4 in a packet, at least theyre not ripping us off. Would reccommend if you like strong jam and really soft doughnuts for some fucking reason. Not for me.